Are people using them incorrectly necessarily? Most of the people I know would be ashamed to identify anything less than what I have experienced to be trauma (three rapes, sexual abuse when I was six, foster care when I was ten, physical abuse and neglect from parents, a stroke, having an ex try to stab me with a knife, an abusive marriage with two incidents where he terrorized me; we aren't even getting to the penny ante stuff like parental divorce or my mother sleeping with new guys, which, yes, is traumatizing for anyone whose listening. Why do you think those bimbetts get away with using their minor traumas to relate to millions? Because their little crap was still a big deal at one time in the drip, drip, drip, drip of crap that hits you. Like moving from new school to new school? Over and over. That's not on your list, but I promise you that is traumatizing to a kid who has to do it and it is more crappy than my sexual abuse experience. But it doesn't make your list. Wow, I just feel my traumatized self feeling more and more irritated by the fact I used all three of those words--correctly-- in my recent essay describing my relationship with my ex. He is diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, so while he is not diagnosed with NPD, he certainly behaved as a narcissistic abuser. His toxic behavior knew no bounds and with each manipulation I followed the gaslighting into more abusive behavior.

As a woman with a PhD in mental health services evaluation, derailed by my own mental health, I find myself wanted so often to return to my occupation. I want to ask the traditional therapists who have failed me for over thirty years why they are so threatened by the new theories. Complex post traumatic stress disorder has been around since the 1980s trying to make its way to clients. It would have done a world of good for me conceptually. Along with a concomitant treatment regiment, of course.

Speaking from experience, you cannot just take a so-called index trauma and make that all better and then a person is cured. Whoever thought of that was ridiculous or overly focused on barely traumatized people.

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From 1976–77, I was living with the FLDS polygamist cult. In 1982, I went to foster care. From these traumas, a thousand more would launch.

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Deborah Megivern

Deborah Megivern

From 1976–77, I was living with the FLDS polygamist cult. In 1982, I went to foster care. From these traumas, a thousand more would launch.

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