Exactly! We think about how there are family secrets that keep my current family divided, and I think, “Wow, I am already shy about contacting my DNA-matched family who are all white, because what if they resent some family secret? How could I bring up this dysfunction of slave rape?”
I really appreciate your thoughts. I am guessing this question has gone answered the same way by most white people who find out they have a cousin who is black. They don’t contact their relatives.
I listened to what Collette wrote, and she had me convinced in some ways. But my husband still feels like it should be their right to contact him if they wish. “They know I’m here. Their families were violated once before.”
You’ve shown how complex it is. The fact is, my husband is related to a monster. Black people related to him know it. My husband is not a monster. He works to make white supremacy a thing of the past. Maybe that would be good for them to hear? I will pass along your response to him. Thank you.