Here’s What’s Going To Happen In 2017
- Donald Trump will buy majority ownership of NBC, and force Saturday Night Live writers to focus every skit on mocking Alec Baldwin until people stop watching the show
- Shondra’s latest scandalous show features Brad Pitt resurrecting his image as the principled pediatric surgeon, Dr. Blake Moore, fighting to practice medicine in a hospital of backbiting and murder
- Trump’s sons fall into public disfavor with 55% of Americans, as well as causing an international incident with China, when they decide it is high time someone hunted panda 🐼
- Apple’s Tim Cook is chosen by a cabal of major corporations to go to the government and set the corporate tax rate. He comes in with a bid of 5%, but Trump says odd numbers are unlucky for him, so he’ll pull for 4%
- Betty White announces she is bored, and ready to commit to a new 4-year deal for a sitcom of four 90-somethings living together called, Keeping It 100.
- The stock market will surge to 25,000, only to crash to 15,000 when it becomes clear the country is led by an ego that eats. I wish I thought this was funny but I have retirement money in there
- A viral video of 3-year-olds square dancing will lead to an uptick in community education classes offering square dancing
