It was so counterintuitive to me to learn this lesson in my own eating disorder recovery. Similarly to you, I assigned myself to have things I had restricted myself from having. Like you, restriction only led to bingeing on the desired treat. Giving myself permission allowed me to gain control of my eating disorder. It felt like I had to do a trust fall with my therapists to get past my fear about ending my restriction. Obviously, what I was doing wasn’t working so it was worth a shot. It was a relief when it worked.