Thank you for this eloquent explanation of harassment that I hope men will take to heart (although from the comments, I see some continue to fail to get it). I saw an essay about how women don’t want equality with men, and it spurred a lot of men (and women!!) to make sexist and misogynist comments that were very disheartening. One of the comments was about how there are never any “real” accusations made that “it’s the women’s fault” when they are harassed, attacked, or raped “except on feminist blogs.” I think you explained well just how we get blamed for “egging” men on. The comments on the article and this one show just how we do get blamed. I have lots of examples like yours, but the one that stands out the most was my 7th grade city bus route. The driver took a liking to me (mind you I was only 12) and he was constantly making sexual remarks as I got on and showed my bus pass. If the bus was empty except for me or even mostly empty except for some men he would get to play along, which happened quite a few times, he would use the intercom system to continue his harassment. I did exactly what you did, “played it off,” just laughed along with him like it was a joke. It kept me safe. It’s how you handle this situation, even as it grossed you out. A women knows. Men don’t understand.

Chances are I have a migraine. My spirit guides are Voltaire & Bierce. Considering making SJW into a religion. Genealogist

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