This view of feminism is probably either sold by people who want to sell a book or Russians who want to divide Americans. It is not something I have ever run into with actual people who practice and live feminism.
Take alto, for example. He writes about an issue from a feminist perspective. He receives a lot of attacks from men who want to maintain a patriarchy for doing so. These men would say he is writing things that “hate men” but he isn’t. He is trying to make pornography more loving and respectful toward women.
My husband doesn’t mind that I call him a feminist. He knows the word has been tarnished by exactly the people who want to degrade women like Rush Limbaugh. People who always thought women were feminazis have said that all feminists hate men and take their power. He knows we have an equal relationship, if not a little skewed toward him.
My brother-in-law doesn’t mind being called a feminist either. I think more and more men realize we’re not seething with hate. We like men. We care about toxic masculinity. We want to see things improve for them, too. We’re having these conversations.