When You’re Attacked For Sharing Your Life

In a rare moment of togetherness

I have used Medium primarily as a platform for memoir. A memoir about a family split apart under the worst of circumstances. An economic recession hits. The first people let go were my parents. My father, a veteran, had schizoaffective disorder. My mother had bipolar disorder. They were religious fundamentalists. They were just plain odd people. They did not make friends with others, but instead kept to themselves.

In our small Iowa town, the people would turn their backs. They would let us starve. Knowingly. Then, they would move in and take my parents’ children away from them to put us in foster care. Eventually, we were returned. At that point, my parents were still seriously mentally ill. We still lived in a country without a universal health care system, so they went untreated. Only now they were traumatized in addition to being mentally ill. Our family was always fragile. It fell apart.

My father would never have health insurance, so his diabetes went untreated. He died young from complications of a stroke. My brother was hit by a car when he was twelve. His head injury was so severe, I learned that you could be in a coma and still be screaming. When he turned eighteen, he still needed rehabilitation and mental health care services but no universal healthcare so there was nothing. His condition declined steadily until he took his life.

I’ve written about being tortured by a doctor who did not numb me sufficiently before removing my toenail when I was twelve. The reason he gave for not giving me additional numbing medication when I screamed out. “You’re on Medicaid. You’re not paying for it.”

All of our experiences were the result of decisions made by conservatives.

Conservatives in the Mormon Church told my parents to get married and being vulnerable people they demured.

Conservatives in my extended family turned their backs on our family so we had no one to turn to in our families.

Conservatives in the church community offered us nothing but holiday presents when we needed food and fuel.

Conservatives shaped social policy that cut off AFDC to our family leaving us without food or proper shelter.

Conservatives ran the corporations that paid my father minimum wage and no benefits for full-time work.

Conservatives have shaped our healthcare policy that left my family without proper healthcare coverage.

Conservatives placed stigma on my parents’ mental illnesses and plotted to take their children away from them.

For some reason, our family is not happy with conservatives.

So what are conservatives doing to me now? They are swarming to my page to make comments like these:

You mean that whiny story about how your family wasn’t propped up by everyone else and couldn’t deal with its own problems? How your family cried out for someone to take care of them and take their problems and no one came rushing in to take the burden of their own problems off of their shoulders? The story about bad decisions and mental illness? Granted, you had a shitty childhood, but that fate rested squarely on your parents shoulders, not society’s. Original comment

So a town targets my family, and it’s my parents fault? My parents have serious mental illnesses and its their own fault? Right.

I used to be absolutely against abortion. I still find it abhorrent, but I see the positive now. The biggest advocates of abortion are liberal progressive feminists. They are proud of their abortions, they think it would be great for everyone to have an abortion. I’m glad they are having abortions at the rate they are. The less people affected by these terrible people, the better off the world will be. Liberal women are choosing not to make babies. I could not be happier with that. In a generation, the selfishness of the liberal elite will disappear off the planet because they did not replenish their ranks. Sure, they try to brainwash other people’s young children by holding them hostage as teachers in public indoctrination camps, but hopefully Betsy DeVos will come through soon, get school choice going, end Common Core and bring some sanity back to the education system.

The world sees you progressives for the danger that you are. Need evidence? Trump. Brexit. Conservative values are creeping up every where in Europe because people are waking up to the insanity of progressivism. Refugees are taking over parts of Europe and the governments are hiding it. People are getting fed up with helping people that don’t deserve the help. There will never be a one world community, full of rainbows and hugs and socialism for everyone. Some people are still left that have souls and want to live and breathe and be free. Progressivism will come a screeching halt, hopefully at the end of a barrel of a gun, just to make sure it’s dead. Original comment

In a related piece on healthcare I wrote, they were right there with the hate, too:

This is the most revealing part of your self-serving piece. You want the government to steal health-care so you would have more Original comment

There are so many more attacks. “You’re too emotional. You’re angry. You’re bitter.” Do you think so? These people expect me to not react. They imagine in my shoes they would have no emotion? They imagine in my shoes there would be no anger or bitterness? What this means is that they lack empathy.

umair haque has written about Americans lacking empathy. Sometimes he has many people endorse his ideas, acknowledging the problem we have. Nonetheless, the people who come to my defense are few and far between. Since I have been poor and from a outcast family, I am familiar with being a target for years now. Unfortunately, unlike racism, homophobia, or sexism, there is no identity group for us. No group will come to defend me.

It is with a certain mirth that I find the most support I have gotten for our family’s story has come from people outside the United States. Here we are. A military-serving family going all the way back to the Pequot War. Proudly coming from two Mayflower families. Yet our own fellow Americans have no mercy. It is typical of this era. It is typical of conservatives. It is shameful.

P.S. Maybe it would be nice if Medium Staff knew that racism, sexism, and homophobia aren’t the only inequalities. People are also mistreated for being poor, disabled, etc. Is this how people talk to you Clay Rivers?

From 1976–77, I was living with the FLDS polygamist cult. In 1982, I went to foster care. From these traumas, a thousand more would launch.

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Deborah Megivern

Deborah Megivern

From 1976–77, I was living with the FLDS polygamist cult. In 1982, I went to foster care. From these traumas, a thousand more would launch.

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