White Men Have Been Making Me Crazy

I don’t know how to illustrate this, so this is my view right now. I had to write this on my phone, because my computer is dead. I miss it.

You were raised to believe you are always right. You are given the most time to speak in every room — always allowed to dominate conversations. This is perhaps why you won’t let it go when I use the word Orthodoxy to describe old-guard conservatives or traditionalists in the United States. You have to tell me, “No, you are using that word incorrectly.”

Even as I write this essay, you are still lecturing me on the connotations and denotations of Orthodoxy, prattling in my ear. I’m such a foolish girl. Those people aren’t “right” or “correct” so they can’t be the Orthodoxy of American society. You are not going to shut up about this, are you?

Yes, and Henry Wismayer wants to warn us all that Jordan Peterson is popular because white men are suffering. He’s not playing identity politics, these are real issues for white men. They are being singled out and picked on. That’s never happened to any racial or gender group before, and I, for one, am just outraged.

I can see why Jordan Peterson is so popular that white men would overlook his thinly-veiled anti-Semitism as he lectures in ignorance about “cultural” Marxism, incorrectly describing concepts and misunderstanding what Marx did say.

A tweet to demonstrate what cultural Marxism really means to white men

Or when he continues on to discuss post-modernism and he doesn’t know what the main thinkers really said including getting the construction of post-modernism completely wrong.

I’ve never seen his evolutionary psychology crap, but I know it’s based on flimsy science. I sat across from the guru of the field, David Buss, for a couple of years at University of Michigan in Brown Bag research talks. Horrible post-modernists, almost all women, but some cucks, too, used to tear into the evolutionary psychology science. He didn’t have good answers to many of their questions. I don’t know. He left town.

Seeing evolutionary psychology become popular doesn’t surprise me. It’s the science of white men. They just take their superior position and then try to say it is justified based in evolution. The ultimate identity politics. Try to tell them they are just confirming their biases when they give surveys to college students to back their hypotheses. I recall my favorite study was the one where a survey of college basketball players showed they were more jealous if their girlfriend cheated on them with a stranger than if their teammate cheated on them with the girlfriend or some such nonsense. However that went it was supposed to prove that men are more promiscuous. It proved nothing of the sort but these guys made leaps of logic.

Oh, and my mate value is based on my hip-to-waist ratio. Good thing that’s not accurate because I have something called PCOS which affects of all things my hip-to-waist ratio. It’s not what the fellas are all clamoring for yet I have been married fifteen years now.

Another study proved men were more promiscuous because they had attractive men and women proposition students on campus and men accepted more often.

As a woman with a high sex drive and no interest in sex with a stranger, I find the study premise flawed on its face. We have to protect a womb from disease. It is very likely that rape led me to have HPV in my teens, and that led to pre-cancerous cells that needed to be lesioned off. That hurt like hell, just FYI. As a married woman, my husband can’t keep up with me and jokes we need to bring other men into the relationship to help him out. Frankly, he’s not the one who’s supercharged. So I guess, fine, guys can have sex with a stranger but if you all do it right, you might find woman are quite insatiable.

The truth is white men are often coddled or abused in a way that lets them cultivate only anger. Perhaps it is a method of maintaining the system as it is. The rest of the array of emotions are often suppressed.

It isn’t that the contributions of white men haven’t been super beneficial. In fact, statistics matter, and there are a lot of white men in nasty, scary, dirty, or otherwise dangerous jobs. I deeply appreciate these men. I appreciated how hard-working my grandfathers and father were. I am grateful to people like my father and brother and their many generations of fathers before them who see it as their duty to serve their country. Although many women and a disproportionate number of minorities have fought in wars, white men have certainly been on the lines a great deal.

It isn’t that I don’t value my husband or the rest of the group. I am simply tired of their willingness to adopt language like “identity politics” when the actual vocabulary for what we are doing is called civil rights. It only morphs back into a right when it’s their MRA group. When they are talking about incels, they are not an identity group, but a men’s rights group, you know, just seeking rights. Don’t you get it? Dummy? Then, when it is my rights, I am an identity group.

It is that inherent self-absorption without the keenest insight into the fact they have experienced for a handful of years some uncomfortable time in the spotlight. Why? To be mercilessly beaten? Raped? Families divided? Dragged to a new country against their will? No, they simply have been called on the carpet as a group. It hasn’t even involved individuals experiencing real discrimination or violence. Though to hear them whine endlessly, you would believe it did. Such as my father who hit my mother over the head with a glass pop bottle in anger over women stealing jobs from men.

You see, white men, here’s what you still, and I can’t believe I am saying this. Here is what you are stubbornly refusing to get. You are finally getting a taste of what it is like to be in the box. Singled out for your gender. Jumped on for the color of your skin. You didn’t do nothing. Why you?

You are now asking the question everyone else has asked themselves for millennia. What did I ever do to deserve this?

Now, the fact is, white men have actually been FULL of answers to the question of why you. They love to tell black people, “it is because you are not as smart, you are more violent (if I had a dollar for every time a white guy typed the expression black-on-black crime to a black person, I’d be the Lady George Soros), and you are inferior.” Or they will tell women, “It is because you were slutty, you didn’t keep an aspirin between your knees, and you are not as smart.”

Their love of their own supremacy is so great as I mentioned they will allow an inferior intellect to be interpreted as a genius because he sells what they want to hear. Never mind if his academics are bad, Peterson’s thoughts to base his science on Jung means he was picking a relative kook, and his criticism of the college campus is actually the exact opposite of the problems there.

Power abhors relinquishing. That’s why my husband has the power in our relationship if I want to prevent the verbally abusive angry man from emerging. I’m in love with this man so I give up. Fine! Traditional conservatives are not the Orthodoxy of our country. You win. Shut the $@&! up. Quit harassing me. Back off.

Whether it is Jordan Peterson, liberal men who think maybe Peterson got something because the nectar he sells intoxicates, know-it-all husbands, they all have one thing in common, they don’t like how we expect an equal identity so they want theirs to be the only one that no one oppresses again, now!

You need to hear this. Of course, not every white guy is the same. That knucklehead husband of mine calls himself a feminist. Frankly, there are issues between the execution and the intention. Does he try his damndest not to be racist or sexist and to work for social justice? Nearly all of the time. That’s why I love and admire him.

But having control for millennia is not something easily ceded. You can let me use a word the way I wanted to in an essay without it being a personal affront to your knowledge base. Internet guys, like the ones Henry drew out, you don’t actually need to make it your job to “set me straight” about Trump or Hillary or the lugenpress. Writing “lol” when I say I have a doctorate is typical behavior I am so done with.

Every dismissive, condescending, dehumanizing white guy behavior I have run into recently had the same thing in common — lack of self-awareness. Posing the legitimacy of an incel-defending pseudo-intellectual? Doesn’t dawn on anyone it might be because he’s selling candy the fans want. Won’t shut up about the proper use of the word, Orthodoxy? It doesn’t occur to you it is because you have been taught to believe you are always right.

There are actually quite a few articles written for white women. Typically, these are written by women of other races with an intention to point out a way in which our collective behavior is problematic. Now, there are some white women who get uptight about these articles and react personally with great offense. It is always embarrassing to see their comments. The rest of us are like, “Grow up, we need to hear this. These are problems we keep repeating. They are not targeting you as a person. These articles are heads-up that other human beings are observing a pattern. The fact you’re getting bent out of shape suggests maybe this hits close to home.”

Really, that is how the mature white girls among us read their articles and react. A lot of cool white guys are the same way about feedback. I see them comment on articles. They get it. They know about how history has brought us here.

What is sad is that social progress can’t just be allowed to, well, progress. There always have to be defenders of the Old Guard. “Even if the old way makes people sick, unhappy, and hostile, we insist that everything stay the miserable old way!”

As you know, writers are often a soul-baring lot. My man will apologize later. I know him. So I also apologize to him for exposing him as I make my point. We can ALL do better. Could you guys just try to do better? I’m sure it’s not you, but you know, your best friend.

P.S. I’m adding a note for the men who defiantly and pridefully tell me, “Well, I guess you don’t want allies, then” since this piece was written. Bingo-bango, fella. That’s blackmail. Either tow my line or I won’t be your friend. It’s actually part of the repertoire of behaviors you need to change. Allies don’t get bent out of shape when they are told about their persistent malignant behavior patterns. They try to change them. If your spectrum of behaviors includes, “Allow me to be abusive or I won’t help you,” all I can say is, “Thanks, but no thanks.”



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Deborah Megivern

Deborah Megivern

From 1976–77, I was living with the FLDS polygamist cult. In 1982, I went to foster care. From these traumas, a thousand more would launch.