You have 1000% support from me for everything you said. Because of raising my little brother and sister, and being in graduate school, and gaining a lot of weight, I had like 5 dates between 21 and 30 years old. I thought and said every point you make here. I wrote all my friends emails just begging to be heard as a lonely, single person once. It kind of sounded like what you have written so well here.

Proving being fat prevents men from approaching women, I lost 70 pounds, and suddenly I had lots of dates. I met my husband, and just as I suspected all along, I was much happier in a relationship.

Relationships are hard. We have been through hell, losing his 7 yr old son to cancer, the loss of my career and related disability, financial troubles, etc. I have been suicidal during my marriage. My husband’s been close. We have hurt each other deeply before.

And after 15 years together, it has been much better than when I was alone. When I was single, I just wanted someone to be honest and admit that. I hope you find your ideal mate soon.

I won’t try and dole out advice about how to do that (I remember how the advice always contradicted: “stop looking and love will find you” would be as common as “you’ve got to put yourself out there or you’ll never find someone.” Bite me).

There is nothing wrong with you as a single person except not having the good fortune to cross paths with the one of MANY possible mates who would suit you.

Chances are I have a migraine. My spirit guides are Voltaire & Bierce. Considering making SJW into a religion. Genealogist

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